One of the greatest Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) is the nikkah and most of the muslim look forward to it. This is the time where you are able to live with the person you share your lifetime with and every act of love becomes permissible which was previously prohibited.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.” (Ibn Majah)
But when it comes to marriage, we look at the permissible actions that we are being allowed but forget the whole concept and what the institution of marriage demands from a muslim and at time include bidd’at in it.
So planning your nikkah or selecting a spouse, one should know about these things:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion. Choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution).” [Al-Bukhari]
The Hadith mentioned above shows the importance of religion when it comes to choosing a spouse. We do know that a lot of people fall in love with the men and women of different religion. A man can marry a Ahle-Kitab (meaning he can marry a Christian or a Jew) but she needs to become Muslim but a women cannot marry someone who is not a muslim. So it is important that one should be careful of the religion while getting married.
Before getting married and beyond the religious compatibility, the personal Imaan of both the man and the women are important. The Imaan of the spouse you are going to choose should have the same level of enthusiasm for the deen and should be a good practicing muslim.
Many of us have different type of ideals and we want other person to meet those ideals. It could be a certain way he or she looks, their education, hobbies or even jobs. It is necessary in Islam to seek compatibility in deen for the people who are getting married the same way seek compatibility in other things and seek to complete each others Imaan after marriage.
In this day and age, no one can claim to be a perfect Muslim. So, it is necessary to find someone who is on the same level or on a greater level of Imaan than yourself. This will not only help you understand each other in a better manner but will also be source of guidance along with the true essence of happy married life.
It’s a popular belief that marriage is a gamble and you can’t really know a person until you are married and start living with them. But for a Muslim the character of a person is important and Quran Says:
“Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. And good women are for good men and good men are for good women.” [Quran 24:26]
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A person who didn’t select their spouse carefully and was only focused on the nikkah may be doing themselves more harm that good.Because few things ruin a marriage faster than getting married to someone with a negative character. Majorly marriage problems occur due to the bad character of the spouse, even after they are carefully selected. It is a combination of different things that plays a vital role in the happy married life and one of which is your spouse’s character.
Many people are of the belief that Istikhara prayer is only for the matters of marriage and for a good reason. Istikhara basically is a prayer for seeking guidance from Allah in all the matters of life, including getting married.
Istikhara is the prayer of seeking guidance from Allah, even for the smallest of matters of life you need to take decision on. So if Istikhara can be done for smallest of matters of life, it goes without saying that in the matters of nikah or marriage, one need to seek guidance from Allah (SWT) so that the matters of your life stay on course after you get married.
The Istikhara Dua
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي
“O Allah, verily I seek the better [of either choice] from You, by Your knowledge, and I seek ability from You, by Your power, and I ask You from Your immense bounty. For indeed You have power, and I am powerless; You have knowledge and I know not; You are the Knower of the unseen realms. O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for me with regard to my religion, my livelihood and the end of my affair then decree it for me, facilitate it for me, and grant me blessing in it. And if You know that this matter is not good for me with regard to my religion, my livelihood and the end of my affair then turn it away from me and me from it; and decree for me better than it, wherever it may be, and make me content with it.”
Marriage in Islam
When it comes to getting married, every couple take care of every little detail of the nikkah or the function of the nikkah but forget how marriage and married life should be in Islam. So it is necessary for each and every muslim to know about what marriage actually means in Islam.
Getting married in Islam is not just about living or sharing your life with the opposite gender, it is more than that. In Islam both the husband and wife have their own set of responsibilities, not just only towards each other but also towards the society we live in. It is also very important for couples to learn about the Islamic way of getting married, raising children, your rights, duties and treating your spouse.
Islam or Quran not only offers guidance on different aspects of life but it defines what Allah wants from his believers not only in the matters of marriage but in every aspect of life. The knowledge (and proper application) of all these things is what makes a marriage beautiful. A nikkah is a beautiful beginning for any couple and it should be one that has been planned with care, thoughtfulness and faith in Allah (ta’ala).